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  1. Yes, and the problems all started when the UK won its war of independence from America. Had that not happened, then America would still be running the show over there, and all the nasty business that followed could have been avoided.

    As it turned out, once the airports had opened again after hostilities ceased, the British General Cornwallis flew back and immediately set about creating a new government, replacing the president with a King and making the language more complicated. In an unusual act of statesmanship the Brits joined Europe but quickly realised this had compromised their independence so decided to leave, with slightly less bloodshed this time. Brexit will, of course, make the UK a bad version of the Netherlands to add to the bad version of the US it already is.

    As for Canada – they gained their independence early on in the Civil War, and nobody really noticed because of all the havoc going on the South. So they (kind of) snuck out of the United States, and got on with things, but not very well on account of the cold weather which, as everyone knows, can numb your brains and soften your heart. This explains why they insist on not shooting each other when having an argument, unlike their no-nonsense neighbours to the south.

    So yes, there’s absolutely no reason for Americans to visit the bad versions of America like the UK and Canada, and you’d be better – far better – just staying home.

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