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When I was 7 or 8, I had just finished eating a popsicle stick.
I glanced around. Nobody was in sight. Rebelliously, I flung my stick to the ground and kept walking.
Crime 1: LITTERING
When I was 10, my friend and I were walking to the store. We got right across the street from it and stopped. It was clear that if we went all the way to the cross walk, we would have to backtrack.
What did we do?
We stopped, looked, and listened… and then we jaywalked the fuck outta that road.
Crime 2: JAYWALKING
When I was 14, a group of friends and I were bored and hanging out outside the local grocery store. We had been standing/sitting outside for about an hour when an employee came out and asked us to “Move it along.”
Crime 3: LOITERING
As you can see, I have a history of getting away with crimes.
Good thing I didn’t mention my drinking underage, illegal drug use, theft, destruction of property and a string of B&E’s…
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