How can I marry a Chinese woman?

Mudassir Ali
Feb 26, 2020 01:38 PM 0 Answers
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Mudassir Ali
- Feb 26, 2020 01:38 PM

Originally Answered: Can I marry a Chinese girl?
Nearly three years ago, I met a Chinese woman on an Asian internet dating site. We corresponded (a lot) by the site, then email / WeChat, then phone, ultimately fell in love, I visited her in China (and met her family), we got engaged (in China), I brought her to the US (after all the paperwork and waiting periods), we got married, and soon we’ll celebrate our first anniversary.

That sounds like a lot to happen in only three years, but I found the right one.

Chinese women don’t necessarily like men because they’re foreign, or from this country, or that country, but how that person treats them.

As my fiancée said, when we met together in China, “when you leave, will you just forget about me? will I see you again?” – she talked about the real risk of getting involved with a man from another country, who will just “change his mind” and abandon the fiancée.

One of the things where my fiancée and I got along great was with our similar senses of humor.

As you should be when seeking a bride (from any culture or country):

Be yourself (and be single of course)
Be honest
Be sincere
Be loyal (to the one you find)
Be loving
Be true
Be in it for the present and the future
Best of luck to you.

————— Update —————-

We were married in August 2016; and now live in the US Northeast, but have traveled to several countries and many US States.

We love each other and love being together.

Mudassir Ali
- Feb 26, 2020 01:38 PM

Its really not too different from marrying ANY woman except there are issues of residency, visas, can she come into the US in the first place blah blah the USCIS is a huge opaque PITA but its the only route to making it work unless you yourself plan to emigrate.

As for getting her to agree to marry you… Well, the fact that you are asking this here shows you are going to have some problems.

People have said you need to have the list of C’s.. Not unless you are Chinese. If you are a foreigner you exist outside of the norm so you can play that card, that its different where you come from and have a good reason why. I didn’t need all that stuff and my wife is absolutely breathtaking. She’s flat out gorgeous, a former model, and she’s smart, funny, warm.. Sexy. I totally married up, LOL. But then I didn’t marry her because she is Chinese. I married her for all those other reasons and she KNOWS this. I fell for her because of all those other reasons and actually her beauty is nowhere near the front of that list either and she is confident in her knowledge of that fact as well.

My traits that allowed me to bag such an amazing woman? Well I’m short, not all that handsome, LOL, certainly not poor but at the time Id lost my job, lost my house.. So I was working at a much lower paygrade than I was prior to all that and living in a rented room with a friend. BUT I’m educated, smart, fun, romantic, come from a good family and my wife felt that she could overlook all those other problems because she felt good being with me. She had fun being with me, she found she looked forward to talking to me every day and of course I never mentioned to her how gorgeous she is… So she would go away wondering, “why doesn’t he say I’m pretty, everyone says I’m pretty…” And she came to realize I am interested in all the things about her she WANTS people to see but mostly they don’t see past her looks.. She also thought my job as a jet setting shoe designer was cool and a bit glamorous and she knew how and why I ended up being “demoted” during the economic crash and she knew me and felt confident it was only a temporary financial set back… And so the more time we spent together the stronger she felt about me and when I asked she said yes.

So here’s your plan…

1.) Meet an amazing girl who happens to be Chinese..

2.) Forget she’s Chinese and see her for all the unique special things that make her unique and special, NOT as a member of a seemingly homogeneous group of a billion females of Asian heritage.

3.) Be fun and interesting, make her, a woman (Not a Chinese woman) fall for you, a man (Not some ethnicity of man) Just see yourselves as two people in a potential relationship… My wife and I really do forget we aren’t just two same type of people.. because what is race anyways.. we are all of the human race.

Now, being “Western” in China has certain advantages, exoticism, pale skin.. light eyes (mine are blue) and or hair (mine is blond).. ability to teach a foreign language (women will want to hang out with you just to practice but that’s a good intro into a dinner date), possibility of green card though honestly, a lot of people will assume this is important, but to any educated, more affluent Chinese woman these days that’s really not so much of a big draw in itself but the idea that if you marry, your children will get the benefits of being a US citizen and be able to freely travel or attend Western universities is a bigger deal than her, herself, “getting out”. Also if you are not a lowly English teacher, then your reasons for being in China are probably fairly well to do ones, good or interesting job and you are probably pretty well educated or relatively well off yourself.

If you are happy with a “green card whore” well then those are easy to come by too but I wouldn’t suggest marrying the type of woman who would say yes just to get a green card. She would probably be the type who will chronically feel the need to trade up and if you’re this type of guy, likely you will be quite low on the trade up pyramid once she’s securely in her new country.

I married my (Chinese) wife for all the right reasons and 4 years after she moved to the US with me, we are still very happy. I speak a bit of Chinese, communicate fairly well with my mother in law who is visiting us right now for 6 months and has her own bedroom at our house, kept her’s alone even when she’s not here, where she leaves her things, and she babysits our bilingual son when she’s here half of each year. I continue to travel to China for work and this past trip, my wife spent 3 weeks there with me acting as my work translator (my company loves her and has no problem whatsoever with her traveling on work trips and attending meetings with me etc) as well as going back to her home town and checking up on her condo.

My life is good and I’m hopelessly in love with my wife. So good luck to you but I strongly suggest you do this for the right reasons, because you genuinely are in love with a woman who happens to be Chinese, NOT because you are in love with the idea of Chinese women.

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