How is it like to be married to a Pakistani man?
1.When you start dating, it’s easy to know if he takes the relationship serious.
Normally, he will ask you to marry you and meet his parents. If he doesn’t after a few weeks or months , you know he just wants to ‘’ have fun’’ or doesn’t see you as someone who he wants to build a future with.
2.In pakistan, they say : ‘’ you don’t marry the guy, you marry his whole family’’. Once you are accepted by his family, it means you will have a bunch of people who will take care of you. Family is seen as something really important in the pakistan tradition. His sister will become your best friend, his mother will become your mother too, and there will be a lot of cousins, sisters-in-laws, …
3. Pakistan men have learned how to be real gentlemen. They will try to make a good impression and want to have a good relationship with your parents.
4. He thinks marriage is important. In pakistan, you have this fairytale marriages and you will feel like a princess!
5. No drinking and no drugs.
6. The middleclass in Pakistan think that education is really important. If you are lucky to have met someone from the middle class, he will be a doctor, nurse, bussiness men, engineer, ….
7. He is brought up with the idea that a man is responsible for his family. He will see it as his responsibility to earn money for you and his children. You don’t have to work if you don’t want to, but you can, and following the tradition : money you have earned, is yours.
8. Pakistani food is delicious! And he will cook for you the most tasty meals. Mmmmmh!
9. He will want you to visit his home country and his family that still lives there. You will get to know a whole new world with a different culture, and this all from the inside! Pakistan is not a tourist destination, so a new world will open for you, a world that is mostly closed for other western people.
10. His mother is very important from him. She is the one who took care of him when he was a kid and she probably had spoiled him. For him, his mother is like a goddess. She will always comes first. In western culture, this is seen as something childish, but in Pakistan, it is like this. If you are married to a man who doesn’t take care of his mother, you know he is also not a good man either. Pakistan girls say : ‘’ I want to marry a man who is good to his mother’’.
11. If you marry the oldest son, you are expected to live with his parents in their house. In pakistan tradition, the oldest son is the most responsible for his parents. He will stay in his parents house and for him, it can be difficult to not obey his parents if you want him to move outside and live with only you instead.
12. Polygamy still exists in Pakistan. Make sure you have a deal with him that he is not allowed to marry other women ( a muslim man is allowed to marry 4 women). know your rights : it is obligated that the first woman gives him permission to marry another wife.
If you meet him in a western country, make sure to find out if he’s not already married to a woman who still lives in Pakistan with his family.
13. He likes children. I don’t think you can find a Pakistani man who doesn’t want to have children. But you will be responsible to raise them. His only duty is to earn money. Don’t expect him to be too involved with his children.
Also : he probably also wants to have a son. When your firstborn is a son, his family will push you to have other children. That’s why many women in Pakistan find it imporant to have a son as firstborn, than the pressure to have a son is gone.
14. He doesn’t like travelling. He is raised that only his family is imporant. So the only reason he wants to travel, is to see and visit his family, back in his home country of other countries where his family migrated to. Don’t expect to go to a sun-beach vacation to italy or spain or go and hike in the mountains.