Is Canada the largest state in the U.S.?

Mudassir Ali
Jan 31, 2020 12:28 PM 0 Answers
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Mudassir Ali
- Jan 31, 2020 12:29 PM

Is Canada the largest state in the U.S.? Well . . . . let’s see.

First things first. Since I’m providing the individual who has gone out on a limb and revealed their humbling utter ignorance of basic world geography ( a brave action to take – well, brave anywhere except in America’s ‘red’ districts wherein ignorance of factual matters in general is worn as a deplorable badge of honor.) I’ve digressed.Where was I? (Other than rendering unto MAGA sTrumpets that which Obama did to ‘he of the tiny but oh so grabby hands’ – put them to sleep with an overdose of common decency and common sense. Actually, . . . that’s more of a service to America and the world in general – these people are far far less a danger to that world, that aggregation of states, and themselves when in REM stage sleep. Their dreams of pillaging and raping the rest of us in pursuit of ‘greatness’. Why can’t they stick to their pursuit of morbid obesity? Oh well).

Trump’s trolls are in comas by now. We grown-ups can talk. 🙂

That first thing? I will not be using the term ‘United States of America’ or short-forms ‘US of A’, ‘USA’ or ‘US’. To use them is to be party to a fraud – to a big lie. There’s nothing meaningfully ‘united’ about that mish-mash of states that are compelled by threat of dire military consequences not to snarl at each other or claw at each other’s faces, or shiv each other when nobody’s looking. So I’ll be using the word ‘America’.

“Is Canada the largest state in the U.S.?”

In a word? NO. N. O. Never. Not if America was the last club on the entire planet. Not if Canadians and Americans were the last peoples on earth and by some sad perverse twist of fate the only non-sterile unions could be between those living north and south of the 49th parallel. “How tragic – humankind must go extinct”.

Canada, you see, exists because people from all across the half of the vast North American continent and across generations of history have woken, en masse, in the middle of our looong northern nights, screaming “Nooooooo!” – from shared national nightmare of somehow finding ourselves … American. Our True North stuck by some gross cooled crusting body-fluids to a chilling realisation we’d got drunk, married – and chewing off our own arm and ninja-ing away isn’t really a realistic option.

Don’t get me wrong. We Canadians like Americans when they are individuals – and have been distracted by the simple joys of humble living from a pathological belief in and pursuit of, ick, ‘greatness’ – when they’re not being, well, American. When they aren’t wearing a MAGA hat – neither the physical ‘Made in China’ nor the invisible ‘America is the greatest nation in the world!’ one. (About the MAGA hats – and other American neo-nazi memorabilia? Is there to be ‘Trump taxes’ (aka ‘tariffs’) on their exportation to America? Just asking.)

Question: “Is Canada the largest state in the U.S.?”

Answer?: Nope. What Canada is is an example of how awesome a nation can be when it doesn’t fixate on inanities like ‘greatness’ – but simply on trying to be as respectful of each other as we can – to strive for ‘goodness’ (which isn’t, as many Americans appear to hold, some sort of consolation prize for ‘not winning their greatness race’ but rather a different goal entirely).

Canada is geographically (thus in terms of natural resources) the second largest (to use a term more meaningful to Americans : ‘second wealthiest’) nation upon planet earth. We have custody of, per person, 10 times the real estate/resources as do Americans. Why, other than in a fit of insanity, would we dilute our wealth and potential for sustainability, growth, and progress by hooking up with, well, to be frank, those poor folks on ‘the wrong side of the 49th parallel tracks’ 🙂 We, Canada, are undeniably large in geographical size – but far far larger in measures at which Americans seem, more and more, to scoff or sneer.

And now that America has dropped its mask? Now that we can see it in the light of day? Canada wouldn’t be part of America’s mess for all the TV in California.

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