What are some unspoken, universal social rules for men?

Mudassir Ali
Feb 24, 2020 05:43 AM 0 Answers
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Mudassir Ali
- Feb 24, 2020 05:44 AM

Great question!

Speaking from a culturally biased UK perspective at least;

Public Toilet Etiquette:

1. Always choose the urinal furthest away from any occupied urinal.

2. If the distance between occupied and vacant urinals is equidistant then treat it like a golf shot – keep your eyes forward, maintain a firm grip and focus on your aim.

3. When you’ve finished, more than three shakes is tantamount to masturbation.

4. You have a fly, use it. Don’t pull your entire trouser and underwear combo down beneath your nuts, you’re not 4 years old.

5. When using a cubicle, if you break wind it is better to announce acknowledgement of this with a small joke. Break the wind -> break the tension.

6. In cubicles, cough over any splash down. It’s just polite that we don’t all have to know the exact moment of victory.

7. Wash your hands. Always. You’re going to go out and we’re going to have to watch everything you touch now, just in case.

8. Don’t make phone calls in the toilet. It’s really a two hand job and better that your attention is on the task at hand (pardon the pun).

9. Always tip the guys who offer you aftershave or a towel (even though you always decline). Can you imagine how bad that job must be? Show some gratitude to the guy willing to do it.

10. Don’t whistle. You’re out of tune and it’s annoying everyone.

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