Answer ( 1 )

  1. In your mind you still feel youthful, just as at age 30 you still feel 18, only at 70 you still see yourself at 30 or 40. I still want to learn things, go places, meet new people and see new things. However, as a chronic pain patient my body keeps me incapacitated 80% of the time. The meds I take make it difficult to read and when I do read and lay a book down, I forget that I was reading and it could be months until I come across the book again. Now I’ve forgotten what I’ve read. In the past I had a stack of 10 books by my bedside that I read from every night. Another screaming frustration. So I just have to plan ways around that, to occupy my mind without causing too much of a physical problem.
    Emotionally, people that were friends, lovers, family your same age, are dying. So however much you try to convince yourself that this is the way it is and not to focus on the negative, you remember that there are only a few first times left. No more first graduations, first jobs, first kiss, first children, grandchildren, great grands, first loves, etc. Worry about your spouse dying or being left to cope with your death is always there.
    Then we get to dealing with younger people’s attitudes. They seem to be dismissive of seniors when we spent our entire lives preparing the world for them. The world would still be in 1950s mode if not for our dedication to families, medicine, technology and a thousand other things. You know, sorry we didnt get it all figured out and bright and shiny. We only had forty or fifty years. It passes faster than you know
    So, we have frowny faces, we move slowly, seem confused and/or crabby. We have gotten ugly, having a stranger stare back at us in the mirror. We’re all the things we were sure we would never be.
    We thought we’d get old and retire and travel, move to paradise, dance have hobbies just enjoy love and sex and gatherings. We look fragile, seem mentally incapable but we are not enjoying old age, we’re coping with all these things. We’re tougher than we look.

Leave an answer