What is it like to be a Sayyid?
My parents told me that I am a Sayyid/ Syed or Sharifah (that’s how they call it for a girl). And it’s something related to my last name that I got from my dad.
Honestly, I don’t think it has any added values being a Sayyid except probably the pride feeling that you got knowing that your (great) great great father is actually the finest and the most impeccable example of Islam and must be followed by all Muslims in the world. Don’t get me wrong tho, I saw a lot of people misused this, pride leads to arrogance, thinking that since they are descendants of the Prophet (pbuh) they can do anything they want. This is completely wrong imo, if anything we should’ve tried our best to preserve and follow the trail of the Prophet’s good manners, morals, and behaviours, and be a good example to others.
However, for me personally, I also have the feeling that it is more like a test or punishment in my life. For the sake of keeping/ continuing the lineage, I have to marry a Sayyid man. Failing to do so is considered a disgrace and a big disappointment from the family (will be neglected, no family blessings, etc.). I just don’t have the heart to go against my family, so I did it, I got married to a Sayyid man (it was all arranged) when I was 23 for the sake of seeing my parents happy, and then it didn’t work out. We got divorced in the end (regardless how bad and hurtful it was, I believe that it’s actually for the better) and now I am a widow. And after all of this, the same rule still applies.
Imagine it is so difficult already finding someone with the same faith that will love me and accept me the way I am. And now I’m back to 0. I have to find another Sayyid man that will accept the fact that I got divorced before (it’s always considered bad in the society) and love me for who I am. Yeah there are some, but the case is always someone who is twice my age, got kids, and also a divorcee. I know age should not matter, but we cant even discuss about anything for longer than 5 minutes, how can you expect me to spend the rest of my life with him. On the other hand, I found someone (kind hearted, religious, very accepting and caring, good akhlaq) but he’s not a Sayyid and as you can probably guess, my family rejected him. It wasn’t even a discussion when they know he’s not a Sayyid the rest of the things I mentioned just didn’t matter anymore. What confused me is the fact that even the Prophet Muhammad himself (pbuh) never restricted the marriage of women only to his relatives, why is it so important to keep this tradition these days? Yeah I don’t know the answer, but even if I have it, my family won’t listen. So in short, my life is a mess.
Anyway, this is all just my perspective and might not always be the case everywhere.
P.S: Sorry if it becomes a long story