What is the best case of “You just picked a fight with the wrong person” that you’ve witnessed?

Mudassir Ali
Jan 24, 2020 01:37 PM 0 Answers
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Mudassir Ali
- Jan 24, 2020 01:37 PM

I did eight years in prison, I saw some shit..

There was this one guy wad always trying to bully other inmates, like Trump he was a “heatwave” and like Trump most people hated his ass for it. We’ll call this guy “Bam Bam”. He’s a buster always trying to muscle his way into other people shit.

I remember one guy who never got messed with by bambam, but hated him so much he subscribed him to three different gay porn magazines and sent him a dildo.

Bambam had to sign refusal slips for both the dildo and mags and every month after for a year, he’d have to go sign a bunch of refusal slips for gay porn mags because they’re not allowed in the prison..

The first time it happened he came back to the block and his face was so pail.. and the guy is indigenous american so..ROFL. I’ll get back to him in a second..

You know sometimes you come home from a average day at work, you’re an average guy, average height and weight around 5′7 160, average job, average car, find your wife being balled by the average neighbor and shoot both of them in the head. /shithappens.

You were in your thirties then, but time goes by so quickly in prison and you’ve become this placid figure.

A respected individual by the convicts and the cops, a guy that didn’t mess with anybody, has no problems with anybody, your what a “heavy”. (a career criminal who is committing crime in prison) considers a “solid” (someone whos a lifer, can be trusted marginally, who’s proven themselves not to tell the cops what they’ve seen) anyway you’ve made a little life for yourself, you have a little routine you follow..

It’s 6:45 and your favorite CNN show is coming on, yay! But you’re an old guy, you’re in your 80s now, it’s all you can do to strain to hear the TV, So you turn it up, maybe a little bit louder than it should be that early, maybe not. But at least you can hear it.

The next thing you know Bam Bam comes down the stairs yelling “who turn fucking TV up?”

He’s absolutely livid, he goes around and asks everybody who’s awake that morning “are you the one who turned that fucking TV up?” And then exclaims “I’m going to beat the living shit out of whoever did..”

To put my two cents in here, this is where I think he made his mistake..

Because not only were other people putting up with his behavior but now he’s makes quite a lofty threat to pretty much everybody in the room..

“Either somebody tells me who did it or you all did it..”

Pausing there, I don’t know what “cyborg” did to get put in prison, I know he died there in his 60s but he was a career criminal and a junkie.

He was also around 6′6, worked out, lifted weights on a daily basis and was just a mountain of a man.

If you took Guile from Street fighter shaved his head and aged him to about 50..dead bang.

Back to the events..

When Bam Bam got to Cyborg who didn’t turn the TV up, He (cyborg) slammed his hands on the metel table, creating a loud clang, stood up looming over Bam Bam and said I fucking did it, what the fuck are you going to do about it?

Like many things in life, I don’t think Bam Bam was prepared for that.. He backed off and went up to his room.

It was at about this time that breakfast arrived (tray cart) “Chow” was yelled and people started coming out of their rooms.

I don’t know how to describe it but when Bam Bam came back down the stairs the air got heavy, the room was tence.

Seems like the only person who didn’t notice it was Cyborg, he got his tray, sat down and proceeded to eat.

But I noticed that bam-bams eyes never left cyborg on his way down the stairs, not on the way to the fountain to get a drink and certainly not when he grabbed the mop wringer..

I started eating fast, what can I say I was hungry! I knew that we were about to go into lockdown..

Anyway bambam darts across the room and slams the mop wringer beside cyborgs head as hard as he can three times in quick succession Bam Bam Bam…

For whatever reason, he flung the mop wringer across the room like “mission accomplished”…

Did I mention the bam bam was part of the Montana State prison boxing team? well he was so he looks fairly confident at this point..

It was at that point, that cyborg again slammed his hands down on the round metal table, creating that clanging ringing noise and began to attempt to stand and take a defensive position in a fashion that brought Frankenstein kickboxing to mind, wobbling stumbling, swaying sideways, he stood up and turned around then started to take swipes at Bam Bam who was standing eyes wide, mouth gaping and staring at the man..

Bam Bam was comprehensively utterly completely taken aback by the fact that cyborg was still able and willing to engage.

I got to be honest I don’t blame him, bam-bams arms were at least 17 around, he was a short man but no slouch.. He was on the montana state prison boxing team at one point and it wasn’t like he couldn’t fight or swing a mop wringer correctly..lol.

In fact Bam Bam sees the co who’s dishing out trays coming, He tries to motion to cyborg “CO’s are here, fights over”

Then he turns to walk passively up the stairs like “nothing to see here” the cops start to fill the room yelling for everybody to lockdown to which cyborg replyed.. yelling..

“oh no, you don’t hit me with a weapon and they get to run away”

At this point there’s one male and two female co’s in the room and they literally just pull up short and camp out.

Bam Bam has no choice he has to turn around and fight.

Back to the beginning of the fight.

As he (cyborg) stood up his head was still calked to the side from the mop wringer slamming against it three times, he pushed himself away from the table, attempting to right himself the best he could, his punches were loopy and Bam Bam hit him with four or five really solid shots to the face.

But as cyborg starts to circle bambam his head comes back in line with his body as if he’s coming around and his punches start to get more meaningful..

After all the excitement, Bam Bam seems to be a bit low on cardio, the fight ended with cyborg landing a succession of punches that put Bam Bam on his ass, effectively ending the fight because by that time there were more co’s standing there watching for an opportunity.

When one of the two men fell they jumped in like ref’s at a hockey game.

Still the look on Bam bam’s face after he tossed that mop wringer and cyborg stood up was priceless even if he didn’t get all of what was coming to him.

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