What is the most disgusting thing you have ever found out about your spouse?

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Mudassir Ali 8 months 1 Answer 133 views

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  1. We had been together for seven years when he finally confessed that he had been lying about being a United States Marine.

    For years, I wondered why he wouldn’t use VA benefits. Or that we couldn’t get a VA loan (I now understand the pitying look that the mortgage officer turned on me when he told us we didn’t qualify). Or why he never talked about his experience. But he loved the USMC, and my family and I gave him gifts of USMC gear every birthday and Christmas. His son was a Marine, too. Our friends always referenced him being a Marine and it seemed so obvious that he had been.

    And then… he made a mistake at work, and was fired. I was trying to help him find a new job and I listed what he gave me for his military experience. He almost “got the job” for this one position… and then was turned down on the background check. So weird! I told myself. Discriminatory!

    Then, for a holiday (I forget which one), I posted on Facebook about my family’s military involvement, proud generations of faithfully-serving Army, Marine, and Navy soldiers, officers… and I added his in there.

    Somehow, his son saw the post. And it was his son that told me the truth.

    I don’t think I will ever forget nor forgive that moment when I brought it to him. “This isn’t true, is it? Why doesn’t he know you were a Marine, too?”

    And his gritted teeth and jaw said it all.

    “I thought you knew and were going on with it.”

    “I thought you understood.”

    “I thought you were just playing a game and you knew the truth.”

    It was, of course, ALL MY FAULT that I hadn’t somehow realized the truth. I’d found the check and application for his DD-214 still in his bag when cleaning, and believed him when he said he didn’t want it. I felt like the world’s biggest idiot at that moment, when everything started to make sense.

    I cried. I took down the post. Embarrassed beyond my wildest dreams. My heart seemed broken and my trust was absolutely shattered, beyond repair.

    Seven years.

    I could barely bring myself to look at him. I was disgusted beyond words at the lie, the willful lie that he told me, over and over and over. I couldn’t stop thinking about the times when we saw veterans at fairs or community events and he stopped to talk to them like it was a private club for “veterans only”.

    It made me physically ill and completely and utterly disgusted.

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