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Bribing police to save your own ass and then saying: “Pakistan mein kitna corruption hai!” (Look how much corruption is in Pakistan.)
Blaming everything on the Jews. There is elaichi in my biryani… “Yahoodiyon ki saazish hogi!” (It’s a Jewish conspiracy!)
Cursing people on the one and only Facebook (made by a Jew). “Lanat hai ‘x’ par.” “Lakh di lanat wapda par!”(Curse you X person)
Blaming America for Pakistan’s problems but will happily sit on the next flight to Washington D.C. for a green card.
The only time we are united is when it is Pakistan V/S India cricket match.
All Pakistani brethren share a common hatred for “bur-ghurrr” Pakistanis.
70 year old Molvis asking for ‘fraandship’ from young girls.
Protesting, blocking roads and mourning is our duty for when Muslims are attacked but when minority Muslims or non Muslims are attacked here in Pakistan then no one says much.
Pakistani girls are obsessed with KPOP.
Every Pakistani boy’s worst nightmare is getting bhaizoned.
Girls falling for foujis (army men) heads over heels.
Facebook names like “siMplE lXrka” , “paPa ki pArI” and “rYan kHxN”.
WhatsApp statuses full of song snippets and shayari.
Your mutton karahi is actually khota karahi.
Acts so sweet infront of you but mericlessly talks so much shit of you when you aren’t around.
We all pretend to have pHds in the English language and correct others.
Punjabi is a paindu zubaan and no one likes talking in it but whenever a new Punjabi song comes out then everyone is blasting it from their cars.
Languages such as Pashto, Punjabi, Sindhi are underrated.
Karachi VS Lahore rivalry.
People can sell their kidneys just to watch a PSL match at the stadium.
People boycotting Netherlands after that politician said something anti Islamic thinking it would economically put Netherlands down however actually it affected them more due to Dutch franchises in Pakistan closing and jobs being affected.
Being a jazbaati qoum (emotional people).
Parents who come to UK and speak to their children in English from the day of birth but then complain why don’t they know Urdu. “Hamare bache to angrez hain naa.” (Our kids are whitewashed.)
Mercilessly throwing garbage on roadsides whilst still loving your country is normal.
Foreign Pakistani kids who return to Pakistan often hate it and are subjected to mockery.
Most of the young generation aren’t so religious but when it comes to prophet Muhammad S.A.W. being insulted they become more religious than the sahaba.
Giving free things to guests as hospitality.
Acting like you don’t want the money your aunty is giving but deep down you are a wolf who has his prey infront of him.
People there being so happy when foreign Pakistanis gift them with second hand use almost broken 10 year old phones.
Chanting tabdeeli (change) for the country but not being the change itself.
I’ll add more when I remember.
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