What is the most pretentious thing you have ever seen someone do?

Mudassir Ali
Feb 19, 2020 05:16 AM 0 Answers
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Mudassir Ali
- Feb 19, 2020 05:16 AM

I planned to take some friends out for Christmas dinner at the Savoy in London. On the first attempt, this one friend, on finding out I had invited another two of my friends, decided she didn’t want to come at the last minute, and made it pretty clear she was miffed that I had invited the other two. I was paying for all of them incidentally.

So, I said I’d take her out separately for the same dinner at the Savoy in the first week of the New Year, and out we went.

My friend for some reason, had this annoying habit I had only recently started to notice, because we had only relatively recently started to go out as friends, and had been ‘online’ friends for a while before, of talking to waiters like absolute dirt. I mean really treating them like garbage, and for absolutely no reason.

Not because the service was bad, or because things were late, she just talked to them ALL indiscriminately, like they were 51st class citizens. Fortunately, we usually went to concerts and shows and things, so didn’t really spent much time in restaurants, so I didn’t get to see it that often, but I had really started to notice it, and it was less than inspiring.

So we had our starters and exchanged Christmas presents, and she had written me a Christmas card that said something like ‘This Too Shall Pass’ about some bad time or other I was having, when she realised she had left her phone in her bag, which she’d checked into the Cloakroom with her coat. So when this waiter approached, she asked him to go and retrieve her phone from her bag in the cloakroom and gave him her ticket.

Personally, I’d have just got up and walked to the cloakroom myself, but maybe that’s just me. So the waiter returns with her bag, offers it to her to retrieve her phone herself, stood at the table very obviously waiting to take it back to the cloakroom for her, and she immediately goes nuts:

‘I said go and get my phone!!!! Not my bag! Why have you brought me my bag?!’

‘What didn’t you understand about go and get my phone? Does this look like my phone? Does it?’

This waiter just smiled throughout offering her her bag to retrieve the phone, and she continued, when frankly it would have been quicker for her to just reach in and get her phone.

‘What still don’t you understand? I asked you to get my phone?!’

I was honestly expecting at some point for her to use the ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ line, and all the time I’m thinking and it’s ME that’s paying for this meal in any case, if there’s flouncing around to be done here shouldn’t it be by me?

At which point I just had to say something and interjected with:

‘He’s probably not ALLOWED to go into your bag for security reasons, he’s brought you your bag and is clearly going to take it back to the cloakroom for you, so why can’t you just get your OWN phone?’

Then she gave me this look, which I can’t really explain, but it was kind of like, how DARE you interrupt me when I’m talking to my staff. She got her phone, settled down, and then she did something even worse, and frankly more pathetic.

We’re sitting there, enjoying our meal, and out of the corner of my eye, I see her slowly sliding the Christmas card she’s given me earlier, back across the table, towards her, and depositing it back into her own shopping bag.

I’m sure she would have slid the gift back in if she could have gotten away with it.

I spent a couple of weeks remarking on how I couldn’t find that card anywhere and how sad I was cos it was such a nice card, and how I’d even contacted the Savoy to see if they’d found it, and she never said a word.

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