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The worst day of my life was on January 20th, 2016. A month ago from today if you count.
It is because I lost my mom fighting with cancer.
I study in Germany and my parents stay in India. I flew to Germany in 2013 and till 2015 everything went fine until April 29th 2015. It was when my mother was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer Stage 4. When my dad said I was like Wtf? But he asked me to calm down and relax as doctors assured us some span of life span. They said it’s advanced stage four and surgery wasn’t possible so only they will try with chemo. All went well initially and we were all happy until it reached her last chemo. The side effects were so bad that the doctors had to stop chemotherapy for some months. During that time the cancer grew but she was always strong stiff and all well. But from October her health started degrading that she was laying on bed always and needed someone to even walk. They started giving her chemo tablets instead of injections. I haven’t visited my family from past three years and my mom was in that condition.
My parents didn’t say me the reason but asked me to get engaged ASAP. It was said in a very short notice and I didn’t ask why and all but said okay for her wish. Its probably she accepted that she won’t survive long I guess. And it became true. From October ending her health became so bad that she was on bed all the time. She was losing her memory and voice and her eye sight.
More over I was committed to a girl from past six years and both our families agreed on this but asked us to complete our career and then get married. As they know my mom is sick they also said it’s okay for engagement and my engagement was fixed on December 27th and I flew to India on December 15th.
First thing I did was ran to my house to see my mom. The first thing she said was who is this? I guess that day itself my heart broke. But her health started improving with my return and all ended well till December 27th. Exactly after that day her health started going down so bad. I would rate it as 100 to – 100 in span of just one day.
With a heavy heart I had to leave to Germany on January 14th laying trust on doctor and God. I left because my mom said do not worry son I will come to Swiss soon and I know you will take me there. I always believed in her words and layed trust in her and with that confidence I left, but the unstoppable and unfortunate thing happened on January 20th, 2016.
It was around 3 am and I was in middle of my sleep and my friend came and woke me up and said me to book my ticket to India suddenly. I was just dumb stuck unable to understand what’s going on. I mean until I saw the time I didn’t realize it was 3 am. He wanted to hide it from me but I came to know somehow and I flew back to India immediately and reached the next day. It was expected that my mom would pass away but not this soon, as we were hoping her health to become better. It was a sudden shock for me to even think of such thing. Even now I did the same ran to see her but it was so silent and she was resting in peace.
She suffered and fought for one long year. Why it hurts me is I lost my best friend my first love, my strength, my pillar what else what not. My father was an audit officer so he used to be on camps during most of my childhood. It was only me and my mom who grew together. She was my best friend, my sister, my father, my valentine, my brother and what not. I still remember playing WWF with her. I used to ask her to be my valentine. It’s that she was my everything my life and my world. And it’s simply broken and devastated.
That stupid day will be the worst ever day of my life. I started hating cancer so much after this as she already suffered from breast cancer 25 years ago and again it attacked her and I lost her to it.
I don’t know whom to blame or curse.
After that day my house became so abandoned; there wasn’t any happiness around. I don’t get any sudden random call or message. Any post I upload on Facebook or any picture I upload I miss one like and comment.
Its a hard road I am walking now but she taught me to be tough and fight back. She was pillar to many people in our family. She always has a smile on her face even when was struggling or suffering. I miss her every second and no one can ever take her place.
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